Remember that rollar coaster ride everyone promised would be the greatest ride you ever experienced? Instead, what happened was that you got tossed and turned for awhile, your head felt like exploding pins were rocketing in your brain, and afterwards, you wanted to empty out that cotton candy you had while waiting in line? With Adam Lambert’s For Your Entertainment, I felt as trapped as in that rollar coaster, begging to get off.
Which is a shame, because this little retro-80s, postmillenial clubpop hybrid funhouse has a bunch of goodies packed into it to make you have a good time. The production has never been better for a freshman American Idol album, the studio executives hide no secrets that they’re behind Lambert all the way, go Team Lambert. Packed to the brims behind the scenes are surprise guest big-names, everyone from Pink to LA Reid to club smasher RedOne to pop maestro Max Martin to American Idol judge Kara Dioguardi to One Republic frontman Ryan Tedder to Muse’s Matt Bellamy, just to name a few. The only weak link is Lambert himself.
Is Adam Lambert a good singer? That I’ve never figured out on my own. His voice is oddly mesmerizing, hitting notes that would shatter skyscrappers, you know, he can do what Celine Dion and Mariah Carey can do. In this album, whatever shred of individual talent he does have is not an issue.
Adam is an entertainer, not a singer, and the title further proves he has no qualms about it. And I don’t mind entertainment over song. I enjoy Britney Spear’s songs. But Britney is content to provide us with mindless but fun bubblegum pop. Adam doesn’t want to be an entertainer, he wants to be THE entertainer, he wants to be THE showstopper. He wants to be the next David Bowie, the next Freddy Mercury. Problem is, Adam doesn’t have the range of vocal chops to be a guilty pleasure nor does he have the soothing cords to be a guilty coffeetime earsnack like Michael Buble, and he is not the entertainer he thinks he is. With some discipline and greater experience, he can reach the Vegas showrunner status he craves but for now, it’s not happening.
Despite all the behind-the-scenes muscle and the same producer, Lambert can’t even claim to be the next Lady Gaga. Gaga knows the game and is smart enough to provide whipsmart lyrics with heartthumping club beats and a beautiful sometimes warbled cooing. Adam has the production and the voice but he lacks the smarts and the lyrical prowess to pull off what Gaga has achieved.
Two of the worst songs happen to be Soaked, a Muse penned and composed track, where Adam feigns his best Matt Bellamy with nauseating results and For Your Entertainment, where he impersonates a male Gaga. The rest of his tracks have him impersonating ironically Michael Buble (in Ring of Fire), a mix of Freddy Mercury and David Bowie (Fever), Freddy Mercury (Music Again), and in a slight change of pace, Aerosmith. Yeah, the fans of Time for Miracles will be pleased to know the track is included here.
I truly wish all the production saavy could have gone to Kris Allen, who needs the publicity and the heft a lot more. While Allen may lack Lambert’s earshattering high notes, he makes up for it with genuine sincerity, a subtle but obvious passion for the art of songwriting and singing. But with all the goods in Lambert’s trunk, who’s going to stick around more? At least with Allen, he knows when too much is too much. Lambert could use a lesson from him.
To hear a sample of Adam Lambert’s For Your Entertainment, see below:
And for comparison reasons, see Kris Allen’s Heartless
